it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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