just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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