it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
