im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
