i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
