As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
