I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
