she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
