PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize