So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
