I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
