For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
