we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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