I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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