Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
