After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
