Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
