We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize