I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
