I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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