Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
