Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
