it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
