it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
PANTIES FOUND
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