Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
