Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
