I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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