Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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