Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We just shotgunned beers for America
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
