just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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