I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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