My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
