Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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