no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
