i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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