so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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