I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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