girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
