My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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