Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize