Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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