Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
