Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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