how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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