he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
