if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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