Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
