you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
