Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
