i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize