Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
