I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
