just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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