she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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