I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
