so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
