quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Randomize
