It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
