Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
