im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
