I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
