He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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