it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
