am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
