WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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