I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
