cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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