If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
