I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
