Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize