Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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