there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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