Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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