bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
