Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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